


Gold Chains and Sick Branded Sneakers

by Lincoln_still_sucks



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Attempt at Humor, Gang Wars, M/M, Please Kill Me, sorry - Freeform, what the fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 10:43:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13902375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lincoln_still_sucks/pseuds/Lincoln_still_sucks
Summary: Hisoka, in the midst of a mid-life crisis, dons gang attire and begins to discover the culture. He happens to stumble into a gang war in the process.Disclaimer: Please don't take this seriously. I tried to make this as stupid as possible... Sorry.





	Gold Chains and Sick Branded Sneakers

Hisoka pulled the gold chain over his head, watching with fascination as it dangled around his neck.  _ This is the new me, this is who I am.. _ Hisoka felt like a new person, decked out in gold, in pants sagged, severely oversized basketball jersey. He was ready to hit the streets of Yorknew, to show off just how fucking dope he had become in just the course of one night. He opened the bedroom door, leading into the living room. 

“What’s poppin’, b?” Hisoka flailed his arms around in a measly attempt to show off his pinky rings. He was met with only a empty glare from Illumi. Hisoka could tell just from the look on his husband’s face that he needed to get the fuck out.

As Hisoka opened the door to the outside, he was met with an outburst from Illumi. “Where the fuck are you going dressed like a fucking hoodlum?” Hisoka chuckled and pulled at his jacket.

“Ey, don’t disrespect my brothers!” He said, walking out and angrily slamming the door behind him.

“Fuckin’ Illumi. He doesn’t even know the definition of cool.” Hisoka murmured.

“I’m a fuckin’ gangsta.” 

~

Hisoka snapped a selfie, holding a shit ton of Jenny. Everybody knew him and Illumi had money to waste, but he wanted everybody to know that he was fuckin’ loaded. He selected a filter that he decided made him look hella cool and posted it with the caption “Make it rain”

Hisoka proceeded to take a picture of his sick branded sneakers and posted that as well. A smile crept across his face when he saw he had immediately received a like. He was happy, almost ecstatic, especially knowing that it had come from Chrollo: The most gangster ass motherfucker he knew. 

_ TheSpider_420_69: Yo its ya boi chrollo. Sick pumps fam. HMU  _

Hisoka wanted to fangirl, but then remembered that a gangsta of his level (which was hard ass bitch) was not allowed to screech like a twelve year old girl finding out her favorite band was performing in her state. He just obliged, sending a message to Chrollo. 

_ HISOxXxHORNYxXx: Yo g. Waddup?  _ He was immediately met with the symbol that Chrollo was typing. 

_ TheSpider_420_69: U loook sexy af. Come c me. Im hangin wit my homeboi kitty kat killu at the bball court nest to the middle school. U should cum hang wit us _

Hisoka felt giddy with joy. He immediately hailed the bossest ass lookin cab he could see and directed the driver to take him to the middle school. He received a strange look from the driver, but fuck that lil pussy bitch, amiright? 

“So, what business do you have at the middle school?” The driver asked after a long moment of silence. Hisoka spread his legs out wide, slumping down in his seat.

“Yo, so check it, Imma hang with my homeboys Kitty Kat Killua and Spider Boss. They’re shooting some hoops at the fuckin’ court.” 

~

Killua inspected Hisoka. He was no stranger to him, but he was suspicious. Yet, Spider Boss seemed to trust him, so he cool… for now. Chrollo grabbed the basketball and started dribbling, occasionally stopping to adjust his sick ass jacket. They watched with fascination as Hisoka clambered out of the cab.

He handed the cab driver a stack of Jenny and began strutting, hips dramatically swaying side to side with every unusually long stride. Chrollo narrowed his eyes.  _ Damn, he looks hella fine.  _

“Yo, what’s up homies?” He asked, adjusting his gold chains. Killua scoffed and walked up to him. Despite only being five feet tall and thin as a beanpole, Killua was intimidating. Hisoka knew immediately not to fuck with him.

“Don’t hit us with that weak ass shit, nigga. Do you even fuckin’ know how to introduce a fucker?” Killua asked, putting a hand on his hips. 

Chrollo walked up to Killua, throwing the basketball to the side. He put a hand on Killua’s small shoulder.

“Ey, be cool Kitty Kat. He still new to this shit.” Chrollo said. Killua, with much difficulty backed away from Hisoka, glaring at him all the while. 

With no warning, Chrollo backed away and grabbed onto Hisoka’s hand. “Shit fam, get out the way. It’s the Green Boy.”


End file.
